Words and music by Ed Rush and George Cromarty. 1957. Additional verses by Andru Bemis

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 E                                E7
I don’t care if it rains or freezes
 A
Long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus
 E                                                                   B  B7
Riding on the dashboard of my car
 E                                              E7
Through all trials and tribulations
 A
We shall ride through every nation
 E                                  B7                    E
With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far

I don’t care if it snows and blowses
Long as I’ve got magnetic Moses
With tiny plastic tablets in his arms
Through traffic, tolls and other such mess
He is my heavenly GPS
I trust that he will guide me from all harm

                 A                            E
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
                                                                       B  B7
Riding on the dashboard of my car
 E
Through all trials and tribulations
 A
We shall ride through every nation
 E                                  B7                     E
With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far

I bought myself a pink Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones, sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
I chose the one that’s phosphorescent
She glows in the dark, she’s pink and pleasant
She guarantees that I won’t go to hell

Now I don’t care if it’s dark and scary
Long as I have my glowing Mary
Reclining on the dashboard of my car
But Moses just might have to go
His magnet’s been ruining my radio
And if we crash, his staff might leave a scar

Matthew, Martha, Luke and John
All were testifying on
The rear window shelf behind the seat
They must have made the Devil mighty mad
He stole what little looks they had
And melted all their features to their feet

I always try to do what’s right
But I was driving late the other night
And could not keep from swerving across the line
The cop was not at all impressed
To learn His Plastic Holiness
Had transformed all my coffee into wine

                 A                            E
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
                                                                       B  B7
Riding on the dashboard of my car
   E
I know that I’m protected amply
          A
I’ve got the whole damn Holy Family
 E                            B7                                 E
Riding on the dashboard of my car